Impact: 66 will break your sense of time and space.

"webmonkees" (kayoteq-of-the-forest) 06/07/2014 at 07:00 • Filed to: Keep Oppo Weird, Auto Cinema, GM, Bonanza, Time Space Continuum

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So here's a handy chart.

Spoiler alert: it's a landmine of weird combined with dry sales. So I've composed a handy guide to the Lorne Greene Western Sage Chevy Epic. No speeds are revealed.

First off, a relaxing cartoon. Seriously, 2 minutes of cartoon that has nothing to do with anything other than nothing. And utterly cool.

Next, at 2:37 Lorne Greene proceeds to sully any nostalgic integrity you may harbor as he pushes the new Chevys on-set and in costume.

5:36 Chris Economacki is hoisted into the air as Corvairs hit ramps in the 1966 Thrill of the year demonstration program. Seriously, that's what they call it.

6:18 Drag race: 396 v 409.

6:35 ???

6:45 The Rock Cycle.. a real torture test.

6:57 JET TRUCK

7:02 TURBINE TRUCK

7:07 ITS A FRIGGIN ALIEN INVASION GAS TURBINE TRUCK FROM THE FUTURE WEVE NOT EVEN SEEN WHAT ALCHEMY IS THIS

7:22 casual treatment of component failure is lauded as control is maintained despite incident.

7:25 Chevy SS speed as being promoted by GM in a dealer film. It go fast?

7:32 Yep.

7:34 Next: Corvette. Does it go fast?

7:41 Yep.

7:52 Chassis jump!

8:15 Blah blah sales sales and our stunt team crossing the country.. WHAT

8:33 Drivers to their cars. The Chitwoods are in action.

9:20 A reminder that high-performance engines are both used for control and safety.

9:32 On two wheels and holding holding holding

9:41 Now, the X-1 Space Propulsion Shot.

10:13 Chassis Jump!

10:20 Inexplicably back in the old west again, where Lorne Green portrays a sage who has knowledge of the future of horseless carriage sales motivation. Generations to come before civilization develops that far, but he knows. He just does. He has a gun.

11:10 Things blow up in a commercial way.

12:14 Parts rise from the sea.

12:20 According to the label on the box, dynamite is "Dangerous".

12:29 It is.

12:34 Lorne Greene's character has knowledge he is on a program called "Bonanza" viewed by 27 million people. The series will never be the same.

12:38 The Beginning.

13:52 The End of that part. That was neat.

14:00 The wise sage from the old west continues his attempts to send a message forward in time in hopes of helping the "Chevrolet" salespeople of the future world of 1966. Strange priorities, that prophet.

14:48 And here it is, the five minute sales segment they have to watch but padded with 10 minutes of actually interesting things.

14:55 Engines were big back then. Really big.

15:05 The new improved engine makes last years motor seem like dog crap. Sorry about that.

19:23 WHAT

We may never know.